...still standing still...

...visually speaking, any band should show some interest in the music it is playing...actually, it should radiate enjoyment. In this regard, I am absolutely useless. I stand still. Always have, and probably always will--look at the attached photo, Riotstar at the now defunct Underground in Hamilton (also, I believe, the last show we played with the late, much missed Tim Beck) in 2002, if memory serves me correctly. That's me rocking out! I'm not sure what it is, but as soon as I hit the stage, I feel as if spikes have been driven through my shoes and feet into the floor, grounding me, so to speak. I can barely stand up, let alone "feel the music". I suppose I could blame my duck-like flat feet for a lack of balance, but there are other forces at play. I am lost in concentration and worry, and rarely think about going anywhere. Perhaps it's just nerves ( a separate entry altogether), or the fact that I can't really do anything, as it seems very forced. Several times I have tried to do a little jump, but it has looked/ felt so contrived that I felt ashamed and simply gave up. To wit, I am at the mercy of anyone else moving on stage. I have been smacked with guitars, basses, and even drumsticks and cymbals. The only thing astir is my mouth, which seems to be playing an invisible guitar all of its own. Watching video of myself playing is tortuous--I seem to be chewing on a battleship...

...ironically, at a practice, I will jump around and act the fool, without a care--so what is it about the stage, after all of these years, that stakes me so...? Of course, there have been some great "standing" guitarists in the popular music field, like Wilko Johnson (Dr. Feelgood, Blockheads), etc, but at least they look menacing...in the words of Dan Gruba, Responsibles drummer, when he looks up from his kit, he sees "a pencil with a guitar strapped to it"..and that's about that...

...perhaps there are lessons for this...?...some might suggest a few drinks...oh no, no, pappy no...that would be much, much worse...I may as well sit in an office chair, but not one that swivels, please...I'm "fretting" (ugh, pardon the pun...)...

...my first long-playing record...

...it was the spring of 1979. I returned from a trip to the mall with a real record under my arm! At a cost of $3.99! My mother was aghast, stating that one could buy four or five albums at Zellers for the same price! I'm sure other record nerds will relish their "first time" as well. The careful removing of the cellophane, the inspection of the insert (hopefully, there was one!), and a careful perusal of both front and back covers. The heady smell of cardboard--made in Canada, too!

..but I digress, with too many exclamation points to boot...XTC's third album "Drums and Wires" in retrospect, set up a template for my future musical tastes. Of course, everyone had heard 'Making Plans For Nigel' by this time, or even seen the video on The NewMusic, so I hadn't discovered any hidden gem. Carefully, I placed the record on my parents' giant-size department store HI-FI system, and dropped the needle. As was my custom, I reclined in front of the grilled beast and listened, and read the curiously written insert that came with the LP. I can honestly say that I was amazed. The songs had a very urgent feel...tense without being tough, and just a bit snotty. Quite a bit like myself, actually. How the band managed to put these kinds of feelings into audio form is still a mystery. Of course, the team of Moulding/ Partridge had a lot to do with it, along with the spectacular arrangements. Up until then, most "rock" music I had heard seemed rather repetitive, or without any focus. XTC were so focused they seemed mildly obsessed. Especially on side two..'Scissor Man', 'Complicated Game'...amazing stuff...edgy, nervous, with great choruses and middle eights. Inventive as hell...

Naturally, most people have heard this album , and probably don't need any introduction. Otherwise, people are free to "find" this album somewhere, and check it out for themselves. Try not to let the image of me grimacing musically on a throw rug in front of a Sears HI-FI ruin your enjoyment of this fine, fine disc. Two weeks later, I went out and bought "White Music" and "XTC Go 2" with an advance on my allowance...