...the pub/bar gig...

...ah yes , very often, a band's bread and butter. Better earning, but far less glamorous than a club gig. No "balls out" explosion of musical chops and flash, but a steady, often dull night of hastily cobbled-together cover tunes and, if one is very lucky, chicken wings.

Many bands either refuse all together, or actually perform under a different name when playing a night at a bar or pub. I used to be in the former category. Rock n' Roll was supposed to be about noise, lights, ACTION! Of course, anything the band wanted doing came strictly out of pocket, usually mine. For the past few years, however, The Responsibles have been assembling our rehearsal space in public bars on paisley carpet.

THE GOOD

A great way to introduce/ practice new songs. There's no cover, so a bar is usually full of people who have little or no interest in your creations. As long as the punters hear a few tunes they recognize, they're happy. In fact, I tend to think they believe ALL of our songs to be covers--kind of a compliment actually.

These gigs can be fairly well paying. The more people who come, the more money spent. A simple formula, especially when you are getting a percentage of the night's take. Recording, pressing, T-shirts, etc, cost a lot of money, and its nice to be able to pay for all or most of it from band earnings.

Crowd approval can do wonders for band morale. Actually, if a band is anyways half decent, and has a good selection of songs, this is a fairly easy feat. As the night progresses, the audience dons "beer headphones", and suddenly, a lucky band can be transported to pub stardom.

As mentioned, there is no cover, thereby increasing the number of bodies in the place. I find this particularly satisfying for friends of the band, who faithfully come to every gig (Hiya Rich and Angie!) most of the time to watch us suck, or pay a twenty dollar cover for a headlining band they don't even like--simply to see us open.

Free beer, and often, a meal. No explanation needed. And, if you have a musician/ friend for a bartender, you are in for a good night--a party you are allowed to play at. Say no more!

THE BAD

Empty. The band plays to a bartender and a lone server, who is wearing an i-Pod. Can be very demoralizing. Worse yet, a crowd of revellers arrive, listen for thirty seconds, and then leave. The sinking feeling that in order to get paid, you have to keep playing for another two or three hours, and then load everything back home at three am. If a band plays in an empty bar, does it really matter?

Not empty, but full of music experts. Some of whom will engage you in conversation about a particular tune, or instrument you are playing--while you are playing it. I'm not particularly good at being firm in these situations, and I imagine that my meekness is taken as a sign they should should keep on talking. Who knows, one could get lucky and return from a washroom break to find one's new found friend playing your instrument! Believe me, they will want to at the very least.

Also, you will receive more advice than you have ever desired. These managers of the night will claim to have either known, played with, or handled the affairs of any number of successful artists. Also, "you're a good band", but we should change our sound and get rid of me, no offense, buddy.

Requests. Usually that no one in the band knows, or only one person. In the latter case, you will have a brief discussion about the details of the tune, which you have never heard, and proceed to play it in a text book half-arsed fashion. Also, learn "Happy Birthday", really, it's worth it. I do, however, draw the line at Christmas Carols

Of course, every band should know they are background music for drinking, so do take breaks--not too long, naturally. And I'm not surprised when a drunk is weaving in front of me, glaring and mumbling. It's much like a bear in the forest, just act cool, but be prepared.

So, it's a mix, a melange of good, well-fed fun, and monotonous, inane slogging. All in all, it's a full night, and remember to plug shows at other places, and try to sell CDs, as some of the patrons may want to remember what they thought they liked the night before...

p.s. The Responsibles are playing at the Lionshead Pub on Saturday August 28--no cover, three sets!

...one for the money...

..."break a leg", etc..all part of a vast canon of semi-ritualistic phrases that any sort of performer has at least heard, if not used in half-belief. Of course, this is not a term paper on ritualistic practices, but rather, some of my experiences with pre-gig rituals...


...of which I admit I have quite a few, upon reflection. Many musicians are quite reasonably concerned with the state of their equipment, the sound both on and off stage, etc, but quite a few are downright superstitious as to how their actions before a gig will affect their performance. I rest somewhat uncomfortably in the middle.


1. If possible, I eat sushi before a gig. Nothing special really, just gives me an excuse to order in.


2. Even if I don't spend hours picking clothes of gelling my hair, I WILL change my socks--as if a fresh pair could make be play any better!


Once at the gig, the fun starts


3. Getting my amp on stage in what I think is the "proper" position, whatever that may be, considering that's it's just miked anyway. I also like to put it on a box or chair if possible, again, for no real reason


4. Twiddling nobs--to what I think they were at before, in a basement. I suppose I should really make some sort of mark for a live setting. Besides, I haven;t even turned the amp on yet.


5. Tuning guitars (two)--another phobia--chances are, I will break a string, and have on occasion broken two, then broke another on the first one again, after its had the string that originally broke replaced. I can go for months without breaking a string, and then *twang* first song, important gig (CD release, opening for a popular band, etc).


6. Tune guitars again--you never know.


7. Turn amp on--check knobs--readjust


8. Check both guitars through amp for sound and volume


9. Change knobs


10. Check tuning on first guitar again, just in case.


11. Urinate. Tie my shoes. Get two beers. The first order of business here is the one my present band mates notice, and spare no effort in pointing out, just because I actually had to leave the stage at one venue to relieve myself. As I shuffled through the crowd, towards the back of the room, to the stairs leading to the rest rooms, my "friends" provided the audience with a running commentary. To that end, a "security tinkle", whether I need it or not is a must, as are dark coloured pants. Say no more. The shoe-tying is not in homage to any particular deity, I just like to feel reassured that if all else fails, I have a fresh pair of socks and stoutly bound shoes. Perhaps this is in reference to an earlier post "...still standing still..". The two beers are for lubrication, one is placed on the amp, and the other slightly behind, just like the guitars, and just in case.


12. Back to the stage, check more knobs, strum a chord for volume/ sound, drink two sips of beer, and wait.


13. Check....perhaps I should see someone about all of this--I hear the tinkling of pianos a la "Intervention" behind me as I type...
Ah well, I'm sure readers have heard/ witnessed stranger things than my mediocre obsessions and rituals--if so, please submit! I would like to break my current streak of two comments.

*NOTE*--I HAVE NEVER PARTICIPATED IN A GROUP HUG/ HUDDLE/ PRAYER SESSION, so at least I have that on my side...but, I never say never...

...I envy people who (to me, anyway) can casually walk on stage, turn their amp on, and play, like I open a fridge door...

PS Years ago, when I was in Riotstar, I used to go home, drink a can of Guinness, eat a grilled cheese and onion sandwich, and listen to Kraftwerk. I don't do this anymore. Maybe it was my way of celebrating yet another night that I didn't wind up in jail or the hospital...

...please hose the spandex down after use...

...ah yes, what to wear? Naturally, there is a certain "dress code" depending on the genre being played, but generally, choice of outfit is a difficult decision. I am as guilty as any other musician of looking at myself, guitar in hand, in the mirror before heading off to a gig, even changing clothes. Early on, however, I realized that I simply looked bad in everything, and shouldn't really bother trying to look "cool". I have known quite a few musicians who are clothes horses--some sacrificing essentials like food to buy a vintage shirt or buckle boots. Others who engage in HOURS of primping and preening before deciding on the evening's kit...
...musicians have long been style/ trend setters. No argument there. They look and act cool, but how did this happen? Certainly, before they became popular, they must have made conscious decisions on their own as to what to wear? Sadly, "indie" (read poor, unsigned) artists have to make do with their own self-construct/concept...
...it is in this light that I make a confession--bless me rock gods, for I have sinned--I have worn spandex trousers, glittery silver ones at that--one time only...
...the idea came, along with not-so-subtle hints from the "band" that I should look cooler, and not like "a Geography teacher" (not far from the mark!). To this end, I borrowed a pair of these shrinkwrap pants from a female friend ( they are unisex). I soon realized that wearing underwear of any density was impossible, so hot plastic caressed my generative organs, squishing them about. I felt so self-conscious of my display that I wore a long T-short over the anatomy lesson until it was time to hit the stage. As I remember, they were quite comfortable, and more comforting, no one laughed! As the stories go, it was a sultry night, and after the gig and accompanying festivities, I returned to my bachelor apartment (read-pigeon coop) to relax, cool down, and get out of the foil wrap. It was hot and humid, and all I wanted to do was take a cold shower. I unzipped the spandex pants from the side, revealing a sickly red welt where the zipper had been rubbing against my hip. Oh well, no danger. With some relief, I pulled the pants down--to about midway down my thigh...where they remained, despite my best efforts, until morning..
...as if culled the the legendary tales of Iggy Pop, I awoke to the sun blazing down on my sweaty, rank body, half clad in sparkly silver spandex trousers, with a monster hangover and grievously swollen feet. I had to hobble to the shower, and stand there under a torrent of cold water for almost twenty minutes before the damn things came off. I looked like a plucked chicken. After that, the pants were thrown into a corner, and I returned them, even more snug, to my friend, who said she didn't want them anymore, but was probably too polite to say why..
..since then, I try to adopt a "business casual" look when performing--nothing showy, perhaps a skinny black tie at times, but certainly no spandex, and definitely not any crucifixes that could plug a burst dam...
..on a final note, a band that looks appealing can still be bad--in fact, this happens quite often. When I was into punk rock fashion, I still liked bands that wore rumpled jeans and T-shirts onstage, as if they had slept in them, which they probably had...

...cringing both for, and with, the band...

...years ago, I sniffed with derisive pleasure, both at known and "unknown" bands I felt weren't worthy of attention, until a good friend of mine, let's call him "Gordie", clued me in to a few things...
...first, and foremost, that if a band, ANY band, can get a record deal, and tour for several months, they must have at least some talent, even if their style isn't particularly to one's liking. Now, having been in bands for years, I tend to agree. Rock N' Roll's a Hard Life, as the song goes, and its true. I give full credit to those who willingly endure poverty, humiliation, and frustration to make a go of it, at least. Personally, I will never give up my day job, and that's why I clap for the band--any band. Gordie also reminded me what fortitude (natural or otherwise) it takes to get up onstage, not to mention do it for ten, twelve nights in a row--perhaps to the bar staff only, or groups of smug hipsters (guilty!) who do nothing but cross their arms and sneer into their ironic brand beer. It's a wonder why there aren't more stories about bands (perhaps like the one pictured above) who suddenly snap and "go postal" on an unsuspecting audience, before heading for the promoter...
..which is why I *always* pay cover. I put the "always" in stars because I don't believe in absolutes. Naturally, if I were ever offered free tickets to see a band I was interested in, I would *never* say no, but normally, I pony up at the door. In my experience, many times a group of local bands seem to have trouble getting the idea across that there is a cover, regardless of how small. Also, some bars are indeed regular haunts for people who have no real interest in paying for music, let alone listening to it. Mostly, they are left alone, for health and safety reasons. More than once I have been "waved in" at these places, but consider it a point of pride to pay cover--after all, buying, repairing, and hauling gear is not cheap, and neither is recording and pressing CDs, or printing T-Shirts for that matter. All told, I supposes I have a certain sympathy, having shared many of unfortunate experiences...
...which is why I sometimes feel an emphatic tug at my heartstrings when I see a band having problems on stage, in particular, fellow guitarists. A broken string, I can feel in my bones--even worse, when a screw comes out of a strap lock unexpectedly, and the neck crashes to the ground. Just typing that made me feel edgy. A shorting-out amplifier is also a no-win situation, making me wish that I carried one around for just such occasions. I like to be helpful when possible..Less tangible, but no less humiliating is an entire audience booing you, and calling for your removal from stage because the simply don't like you (on a mismatched bill--four thrash metal bands and a synth duo), or they want to get you "over with" so the headliner can come on. Again, it takes cojones to stand it front of that...and then to possibly be greeted with the classic "We were going to pay you, but you broke something of the club's on stage that happens to be of the exact same value..so, we're even", and then maybe a warm OV, before loading your gear into a decomposing van that has been stolen/ towed away..
..but, we still do it...grind on, fellow minstrels, grind on...I feel for you, and with you, brothers and sisters...and once again, thanks to Gordie for opening my mind and ears...who am I to be critical...?

...(figurative) skeletons in closet...

...just clearing that up before I receive any nasty visits.

In my younger years, any mention of a band/ artist that was not currently "cool" would be met with gales of laughter, reverberating thigh slaps, and general humiliation. After all "young" people take music seriously in their quest for identity, and especially so if you are an awkward high school student with the unholy trinity--glasses, braces, and acne..but no beard..

..which brings me to these two gentlemen on the right, known professionally as "Steely Dan". I don't know the ins and outs of their careers, nor do I own all of their recordings. However, I have listened to and enjoyed them for years. Normally, their brand of "jazz/ soul/ rock" would not appeal to me, but I believe they have/ had the most inventive take on the easy listening genre. Their records sound good--nice mixes with lots of extra percussion, and creative arrangements. I like the main singer's voice also. Quite odd when you think one of his contemporaries is Michael McDonald of the dubious Doobie Brothers! Additionally, I like all of the hits "Rikki Don't Lose That Number", "Hey Nineteen", etc. Usually, I look for the more esoteric releases of a band, but with The Steely Dan, the greatest hits are good enough. I say "The", due to the fact I have won over many a music snob with my knowledge of where the band got the name--look it up (actually, they should call themselves Steely Dan Mark II, as Mark I was destroyed by a bull dyke in the Upper Efendi..)..but, I digress...

..Nostalgia plays an important part in why I have chosen Becken and Fagen's "combo" As a child of the seventies, Steely Dan's smooth FM sounds kept me company on long car rides, and at night during vacations up North, where the air is clear, and reception is brilliant. Perhaps it's some sort of connection to an earlier, more innocent time in my life when everything was new and..erm......

I won't get THAT laid back. Now, slightly more mature, and less giving a cobblers about what people think of me, I proudly state the merits of Steely Dan--who knows, they may even become "hip", but I strongly doubt it...

...stay tuned for more skeletons ( as in, music I used to keep hidden if friends came around)...

...from the top...

...a quick recap of what's been covered so far (test next Tuesday, all True/ False)

1. I still think XTC are the bee's knees. Lots of hidden early gems on rarities compilations like "Rag N' Bone Buffet", "Explode Together--Dub Experiments", and even on Mr. Partridge's newer efforts, such as Moonstrance...

2. I'm still standing still...the picture to the right is a document of a rare sight--I'm moving! Thanks to Mister Steve Truesdell, who installed an electrified tin sheet beneath the stage, ala Hammy Hamster, in order for this to happen--a great photographer also, even made me look "cool" by blurring...

3. Haven't really had time to look at any old Rock School videos. Perhaps I'm just old, but all of the "School of Rock" and Gene Vincent's "Rock School" clips seem to get in the way, and I get cranky easily...

4. Wilko Johnson is still aces in my books. Upon further investigation, he claims that he got his sound/ style from 50's/ 60's rocker Johnny Kidd, of Johnny Kidd and the Pirates--needs looking into...

5. The last few issues of MOJO have come and gone, and, in all honesty, I don't remember what was in them. The Cds that come with the magazine have also been unremarkable, at least to me...

6. As I type this, it dawns upon me, with a familiar shiver, that we (The Responsibles) are playing next Friday night. The gig is not listed on the club's website, or anywhere else. The poster we made does not appear on any telephone pole near you. Additionally, we are to wait for further developments. Ah well, it's a gig at a cool club, with a regular clientele (very important, a built-in audience) and the promoter is a busy fellow...nobody's perfect...nothing worth making a satirical video over, anyway...perhaps in a couple of weeks there will be a "review" of sorts...

7. The summer has unofficially begun, and so far, no outdoor/ festival gigs--but, in this world, there are no such things as absolutes, and as I mentioned, it all comes down to a democratic vote...

8. Last week was somewhat of a Greg Ginn/ Black Flag overload--my ears hurt, and I cannot do one more push-up or "feel the burn"...Henry Rollins, I have let you down...

9. Does anybody read this blog...? Just asking, that's all. Perhaps it's my fault for not publicizing its existence enough...maybe I should be "spicier", and if so, which condiment...?

...neat-o guitarists number 2...Greg Ginn...

...not only punk rock, but annoying on a much deeper, sub-sonic level-- Would be my rock-writer assessment of the 'legend' that is Greg Ginn. Naturally, he is most associated with Black Flag, being the only constant from start to finish. A casual glance at his homepage will reveal that in fact, he still plays, records, and designs electronics. Admittedly, I have not been a keen follower of his post-Flag work, except for GONE, perhaps. Nowadays, he has kept up the jam-rock style of playing that characterized the later days of Black Flag (good Lord! I am sounding like a hack writer). Regardless, as a young punk-rocker and aspiring band member , Greg Ginn was inspiring in many ways, which will prove to be near impossible to put down in type...

...as someone who cannot play guitar solos, Mr. Ginn is an inspiration and prime example. Reading his Wikipedia page, there is discussion about "free form jazz" and "atonal phrasing"...what..? To me, it sounds like he doesn't know where he is, which is a good thing. I enjoy the off-putting effect that his playing has, especially all of the off/ missed notes. In my opinion, a good/ inventive guitarist can carry a band. Whenever Black Flag added a second guitarist, it was superfluous, as Ginn could carry rhythm and lead, much like Wilko Johnson (see neat-o guitarists #1). I find his playing to be very atmospheric--just now, I am listening to the classic live album "Who's Got the 10 and 1/2?"--'Slip It in' is a beautiful example of dynamics and pure feel--slimy and groovy, with that hook note grounding the ear-shattering lead line....blah blah blah...actually, it's more of the sound Ginn has..a sound that smells...

...unlike other punk rock guitarists, Greg Ginn does not rely solely on high end treble and distortion..his guitar is "wide open" (ha ha!)...everything, from bass to mids to treble is mixed together, in a lovely mess. I have tried to copy this myself, with limited success. I like to be able to hear everything coming from the guitar, especially in a live setting. Speaking of this, Greg Ginn's equipment consisted of a guitar and amp--nothing else--in fact, he often used a PA head, and turned everything up "to eleven"--completely naturally distortion which no amp, pedal, or sound man can recreate--weird harmonic overtones, etc. Other than that, he really beat the guitar (it would short out from 'fluids'-resulting in the installation of waterproof circuitry). As with Wilko Johnson, I really admire guitarists who use a very percussive technique when playing--again, something I have tried to copy, not to be cool, just for the sound---hopefully someone else notices!

...speaking about being noticed, Greg Ginn, when 'appearing' on stage, kind of stands there...focused on playing ( see "still standing still")...or, according to Henry Rollins, high as a kite...in the picture accompanying this post, he even looks a little like me, gawky and a little geeky...which, along with his playing, made him the perfect foil for Henry Rollins. As much as I like Henry Rollins, I think that Greg Ginn is the only player who complements Rollins' voice adequately. Perhaps in the years after Black Flag broke up, Rollins has been looking for another Greg Ginn, and vice-versa, but the former has refuted any rumours of a reunion ( at least with him). Black Flag did go on tour, with several former guitarists, but that ended in a few fainting spells and hospital visits, and besides, I wasn't interested...

...all I want for Xmas is a reunion....and an opening slot...and some beer tickets...